What is the price of a single smile that i cant even afford to paint it on my lips? The last few weeks has been very difficult for me in fact I really had a hard time dealing with all the changes in my life. But today, I just wrote a rather positive post entitled I am happy. Although I had it published in my other blog, Alexis Wired. Some would rather read it as Alex is Wired. Whatever suits you is alright. AlexIsWired is basically just another blog filled with my deviations in life, love, and etc. Aidan here is more like my poetry and writings blog. I guess what makes AlexIsWired different is that it has less of the poetry side and more of the random musings and ramblings plus some techy posts. Anyway, I just wanted to share. Check it out, if you want. I’ll go for now and log on to check my assignments from the university online. See ya later.

I’ve never met anyone like you, I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love you. If only I knew you’d come, I would’ve waited for you. No one has ever loved me the way that you do. How I wish there’s a way to make things work between us. I want us to be more than just this….

I love you even if it’s not right. Even if ours is a love– forbidden. You mean everything to me but we can’t be. If only I had a choice, I would choose to be with you more than anyone else, but I have to do what I must. I have already promised myself to someone. If only I could follow my heart and do what I really want… I would choose to spend the rest of my life and forever with you, but I am left without a choice.

(….and I love you whether it’s wrong or right, and though I can’t be with you tonight, my heart is always by your side - If you’re not the one, daniel beddingfield)

I may be with him/her but you know that you have my heart, and my life would never be complete without you. I would only be truly happy when the time comes that we can be together.

True – Ryan Cabrera Music Code

On The Other Side

A: I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done wrong, I never meant to hurt you – it just happened.

B : We can still work it out and stay together. I just want you to know that I love you in spite and despite of all the mistakes you’ve committed… I love you, I don’t want to lose you. I will never leave you and I will never let you go – ever.

A: I love you too… ugh (but I don’t think I can love you as much as I used to or make things stay the way they used to be, but I will try… So much has changed between us. I love you but I love her/him more…)

Now, let me ask you something.
What hurts more?

A love so right at the wrong time,
or loving and being with someone –
who loves someone else more than he/she loves you?

Title: Torn in Between – What hurts more?
© 2007-2008 BittersweetCollide.com – Where ends meet and BitterSweet Collide, Forbidden Love

I can’t seem to find the right words
to describe this feeling…

So, let me simply say
that it’s a happy day!

© 2007-2008 Where ends meet and BitterSweet Collide, Forbidden Love

(Sigh) Talking about having a hard time breathing, this is one of those times. Anyway, I have Mac around to play with while everyone is out. But, I can’t really have him around that much because of my asthma. Although Mac is always trying to find a way to get near me, then he starts doing that “meow, meow” and looks at me in the eye as if saying pick me up. I can’t help but pet him and stroke his head when he starts kneading my leg and rub his cheek against it. I hate having asthma.. (sigh)

I’m feeling a bit woozy now. I haven’t really slept much in the past few weeks. I guess it’s also one of the reasons why my resistance is getting really low and I get sick so easily. I guess I’ll just hit my bed first, close my eyes and try to get some sleep.

No poems for now, I will try to post a new one perhaps in a couple of days. I hope you guys won’t get tired of reading my posts. Thanks!

And to the one I love… The following lines in the Song “If you’re not the one” by daniel beddingfield goes out to you…

I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
‘Cause I love you, whether it’s wrong or right
And though I can’t be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your side

I don’t wanna run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

© 2007-2008 Where ends meet and BitterSweet Collide, Forbidden Love

When you’re living in a season
and that season is done
When the spring has past
and summer won’t last
From green to red -
and yellow seeming-like-gold
the leaves start to fall
then everything grows dreary and dull…

When you’re living for a reason
and that reason is gone
tears start falling while your heart’s breaking
but there’s nothing you can do
to stop things from withering

And then everything goes wrong
You feel so cold and all alone
The snow starts to fall – melting in your eyes
You sigh and ask God, Why?

Then God sings the Ecclessian song
Life has its seasons,
and everything happens for a reason

There’s a time to laugh
and a time to cry
a time to say hello
and a time to say goodbye

There’s a time to love and not to love
A time to hold on, and a time to let go

So, when you’re facing uncertainty
and you do not understand
why things aren’t the way they used to be
Don’t be weary – just think of it this way
there’s a season and reason for everything

It’s not hot but you’re sweating
it’s not cold but you’re shaking
Then you sigh, and ask God why—-

Well, that could be something else my friend.

© 2007-2008 BittersweetCollide.com – Where ends meet and BitterSweet Collide, Forbidden Love Poetry

After all that we’ve been through,
after all has been said that’s true
We remain Just Friends –
‘coz things are the way they are

But…

No one seems to believe that, why?
Can they see the tears falling down from our eyes?
Can they see the pain that’s cutting us up inside?
Can they feel how hurt our hearts with love denied?
Can they see how much I’m dying?
Can they feel the rush of pain running through my veins?

Is it time for the real goodbye?

Will this love that binds us finally die?

Is it the end of the world for me?

…just to let you know, just in case you don’t
you are my world now – my everything.

Why are we crying?
ahh so Emo.

Anyway, we’re just friends,
and that’s how we’d always remain-
Come what may…

Just Friends – Because things are the way they are.

I just hope that people would believe it when we say, “we’re just friends”
because it hurts more when they don’t, and we both know we can never be more than that.

Title: Just Friends – Because things are the way they are
© 2007-2008 BittersweetCollide.com – Where ends meet and BitterSweet Collide, Forbidden Love Poetry

I guess I just need to try even harder.

I miss you… I really do.

I wanted to write you a letter, but this is all that I could come up with.
Please lend me your ears, and open your heart even just for a lil while….

Title: Stranded
© 2007-2008 BittersweetCollide.com – Where ends meet and BitterSweet Collide, Alexis meets Aidan

I smile, I hide, and cry so hard inside
I look up, trying to find the light
I ask, I scream, I drift into a dream
a dream of us together–
a dream of us one day

I thirst, I crave, I beg
for time not to go away
the only time we have left
in each other’s arms to stay

I am chained — unchained
but never will be free

Our names are called by love
and we answer every time
But all that we could say,
only time will tell, only time.

I know this picture is such a blur
even eyes wide open could not clearly see
with hearts locked up inside
even ears not shut will fail to hear
the whispers of our undying love tonight

life painted us together in a beautiful masterpiece
a portrait this world has torn apart
fate and its hand recollecting every single piece
to mend our broken hearts

I say,
I’m yours forever — no escape will I ever have
No running away– no letting go,
not from you or this love.

turpentine all over us now — we endlessly drown
melting every detail into a blur
we are nothing but the stained canvas
but still a piece of art we have become –

for we are not of this world and time–
a piece of art even the masters had never known
yet a masterpiece of the wounded hearts
that has turned into something
even more beautiful than love and beauty itself

Title: wounded hearts’ masterpiece
© 2007-2008 BittersweetCollide.com – Where ends meet and BitterSweet Collide, Alexis meets Aidan

I love you, Goodbye – Love and Letting Go Poem

Tears rushing down your cheeks asking why do I have to go
I said it’s something that if you can’t, then I must do.
People in pain, are cursing me bone marrow-deep
Wishing me chaotic thoughts and nightmares in my sleep

We would be endlessly thrown with hurtful words
piercing through us like daggers and swords
Someone might even be hoping, that I cease to exist
wanting to teach me a lesson, and put me to an ultimate test

But is loving you something that i should regret?
When even my heart completely refuse to fret
Its the best thing that ever happened to my whole damn life
and if they continue to Judge me, hate me, I don’t really mind.

I know, that is such a stubborn thing to say
That’s why while I can and while I may
I’ll be dragging my feet and try to walk away

Walk away—
not from you and not from our love
but from causing hurt to the people around us

We have no other choice but to wait for our own perfect time
Whether it comes or not, whether or not you become mine
It’s only distance that would keep us apart
I would continue to hold you closest to my heart

But for now I have to face the truth and try to get by
and I’ll have to take my first step by saying–
I love you, Goodbye

always remember that it all started with goodbye, only fate knows what tomorrow will bring.

Title: I love you, Goodbye

© 2007-2008 BittersweetCollide.com – Where ends meet and BitterSweet Collide, Alexis meets Aidan

I don’t know why I’ve grown so weak and weary.
I’ve grown much weaker than I ever was in my entire life
weaker than I thought possible

Don’t mind me, Don’t worry too much. I guess I’ll get used to it,
I know I’ll get through this somehow
I can make it through..

trust me…

I’m not wasting all the things that I have learned from you,
coz if it’s just like that, I don’t know where I’ll be right now
Perhaps out there wasting my life somewhere,
or worse, I’d be gone forever

but look at me…
I’m stranded as hell in the deep abyss
and I’m facing it and not running away from it…

this is probably my way of coping, i dunno….
…but I’m trying to cope… trying too hard even,
…but still misery gets the better of me at times
…but at least not all the time.

I know you want no buts and excuses.
You want hits, not near hits or hit misses
but I’m telling you… I’m telling you this now so please listen

I’m putting my best foot forward on this matter
and this is already the best I could give.
I’m sorry if it’s lousy, I am lousy and I am not afraid to admit it

I am not strong but I’m trying to be.
It’s just that I could get really weak and stupid at times

but believe me…

I’m trying to busy myself with things, everyone can tell,
I’m sorry if it’s too obvious that I’m not doing it well
I just couldn’t stop thinking about you…
I just couldn’t help but miss you too much.
Sometimes it gets too much more than my whole being could bear.

Misery Loves Me.

Misery keeps on trying to embrace me and I’m struggling to stay away from it.
I’m trying to defy it by faking a smile, but it just doesn’t seem to work.
So please… Just hold me close and I’ll be just fine.

Title: Misery Loves Me
© 2007-2008 BittersweetCollide.com – Where ends meet and BitterSweet Collide, Alexis meets Aidan