I’m happy because I am picking myself up from where I left things off. I’m happy on how Aidan is progressing really fast, but I can’t help but be sad too.
The person who’s been there for me the whole time, the one who never failed to encourage me, the one whom I dedicate all my love to is leaving me. I don’t know how many times we’ve tried to say our goodbyes already, but we always end up talking again. Although this time, I’m afraid she might be really serious about it. I think she finally decided to leave me behind for good. I think it’s just fair to the one she belongs to, and even to the one I left behind because of her.
It’s really hard even just to think about it, but we both know that it’s something that we must do. I don’t want people to judge her, we love each other but there’s nothing going on between us, we simply decided to stay as friends, but the more that we talk and hold on, the deeper our feelings become for each other, and the harder it is to let go.
I’m not sure how I’d move on and go through life without her by my side. For the past few months, she’s been my constant company. She’s the only one who ever really understood, and I can even say that she knows me more than anyone else.
I really don’t know what to do or feel right now, but I pray that she’d stay even just a little bit longer, even just for another day.
Just another day… *sobs
Why can’t it be?
Why can’t it be the two of us?
Why can’t we be lovers, only friends.
You came at the wrong place
.. and at the wrong time…
They said that when you’re inlove it’s too obvious in so many ways, I think it’s right. Everyone at home noticed so many changes in me for the past few months. Actually, everyone I know did notice, even my neighbors who used to complain about me being so grumpy and all that says I smile at them more often now. I wasn’t aware of that though, I guess those were just moments that I got lost in thoughts of you, then I smile without even knowing so.
I do believe that I’ve really changed a lot, even I can’t help but notice too. I’m not really that much of a techy person or anything, and while everyone are crazy about their phones to the extent that they cannot live without one, I’m the type who hardly uses mine. Sometimes I even forget where I placed it that my dad keeps on complaining that I don’t get to answer his calls. Even my friends and other family members are complaining about the same thing. Well, until you came, and I started to care about my phone somehow. I never really had the time to figure out how Polyphonic Ringtones are customized or replaced, but now my phone has your voice playing as it’s tune when it’s ringing. It used to have some pre-loaded Hip Hop Ringtones and even those stuff that my brother uploaded in it like game character sounds, Dance Ringtones, and etc. But now, whenever someone sends a message, it’s your voice that’s playing over and over again. It’s so hard not to notice my phone now that it has your photo as the wallpaper too. I know it’s so obvious, but what can I do? I’m in love and it shows.
Heart’s day is over but my heart is still busy weighing things.
It’s harder than physical work or thinking about things to do. Maybe I should take even just a short rest from it, if possible, which isn’t. Although, I think I have to set aside some things first and pave way to shopping for some gifts especially since too many birthdays and special occasions are on the way.
It’s going to be my best buddy’s natal day in a week’s time and until now I don’t know just what to get Oz that would be special enough. I really need to find a good gift, something that would last and would be forever remembered. For someone who has almost everything it’s really hard to find the perfect gift. I need to find a shop where I could find more selection of gift items, etc. there are so many sites that I looked into but I need one that would somehow fit my pocket’s worth. I really hope that I’d find one wherein I’d get to avail of big discounts so I can save up for my younger brother’s graduation day. Oh well, I would really try to find a good shop, because March is really a month to buy gifts since my grandma, uncle, aunt, and older sister Sandy will be celebrating their birthdays. I want to be able to buy them something special as early as now so I won’t be rushing when those days are near.
I’ve asked myself a million times how and why,
but still I could not come up with any answer.
I love you, simply because I do.
There are so many reasons why I should,
but still they aren’t really the answers as to why I love you.
I just really do. Continue Reading »
You talk as if going far away, somewhere else, would be the only solution. Well, perhaps you’re right. Who knows? Maybe, just maybe, things will be different when that happens. Maybe you can travel and fly away to London to visit the queen in her palace or perhaps party all your life. Maybe busy yourself with the things you always wanted to do. How about going to Europe? Maybe drop by the city of Rome where people believe that miracles can happen? I guess I’m the one who is in need of miracles though, but I doubt it that they would work on me.coz I don’t think there will ever be an end to this wonderful feeling of loving you.
So where do you plan to go? Run away to a place that’s so far from where I am, so you’d completely forget everything?
Aren’t we too far from each other now? What difference would it make if you’d go away? You are already far away from me. I can’t even get near you. I can’t even go and see you. Perhaps I could, but only from afar and without you knowing it. Isn’t that sad enough? Too near yet too far.
What can I do? Having you in my life is wrong, and it’s as if nothing can be done to ever make it right. Sigh. But I love you, I love you so much and nothing can change that, ever.
You could buy a one way ticket and fly away to the ends of the world, but in my heart you’d stay forever. And when I say forever, it doesn’t have an end.
I will love you with all of me for as long as I exist.
My heart may bleed,
but it bleeds because of loving too much
and I would never regret loving you this much ever,
because it’s all worth it. Continue Reading »
Hello Aidan I have something to share today. It’s been awhile since I got to sleep well and woke up the same time normal people does. What I mean is that, my body clock has been set to a different timezone since I can’t remember when. Perhaps, sometime in high school, and since then it’s been like that. I’ve been suffering from insomniac. Well, the last time that I got to sleep right would be when my mom made me take sleeping pills so I could get enough rest, but then again I think that didn’t do me much good since I had fever and all that. Chemical reaction or just another way for my body to refuse and deviate from the norm? Whatever the reason is, I don’t really care. All I know is that I hate having to take all those medications knowing they’re slowly poisoning my system.
Anyway, I got to sleep for a few hours and woke up this morning feeling perfectly alright. Perhaps because last night was perfect too. My brother and best buddy aka illegally adopted sibling asked me to go swimming with them and so I did. I love swimming more than anything and it’s really good to be dipping like that in the cold running water again. The nearby pool was designed in a way that it’s like a flowing spring and I love it that way for reasons that I’d rather keep to myself and because if you’re swimming from the other end, it’d take you to the other end in lesser time and less effort. I guess it was designed that way for exercising purposes, because if you’re going to swim back from the other end, you’ll have to swim against the current of the flowing water and that’d really make you exert extra effort most especially since we’re talking about a pool here and not the sea. Swimming against the current in a salty sea water is less harder than it is in the pool, buoyancy is the key. Alright back to the topic, I love swimming against the pool current because once I reach the other end it feels as if going through so much and making it through them successfully. But, sometimes when you’re feeling too weak there’s nothing you can do but flow with the current and let it take you back to the other end.
I may have swam against the current and successfully crossed the pool today, but in life, it’s as if I’m still struggling in the midst of a hurricane…
As pages turn so fast in my life, I also notice too many revisions in my life’s book. Are they revisions or are they meant to happen? If there’s one thing that really confuses me right would be the change of not only the weather but of the people around me. Sometimes they’re too warm that it almost makes my heart melt. My mom and dad has never been as nice in my entire existence. They’ve always been so strict and against the things I do, or the people I hang out with. But now, it’s as if things have changed too much. Everyone at home are suddenly nice that it feels so strange. My dad is extra sweet and nice, and very supportive too. He’s been trying to make me feel that he’s behind me in everything I do and they accept me as everything that I am. While my mom, oh well, she’s always been sweet, but she’s extra nice. All these changes make me feel as if the end of the world is near, or who knows…
Someone special tells me it’s normal and people actually change for the better, and it’s probably because I’ve changed for the better too and it’s basically a result of this chain reaction sorta thing. Oh well, hopefully it’s just like that, but whatever reason is it that’s behind all these good changes, I hope it’d be constant. But hey, isn’t change the only constant thing in this world? Oh well…
I have been discussing with my friend certain topics about interior design, we talked about the most important factors that affects the interior of exterior design of any building, house, or any establishments, and we agreed on one thing which is essential and that would be lighting. No doubt that perfect lighting brings life to any room or setting and enhances the character and beauty of the view. Any modern setting can be converted to old renaissance or Victorian times depending on the type of lighting used. There a few trusted names when it comes to the lighting industry. Most of them have earned their credibility through hard work and quality products and with their employees on Online Degree Programs specializing in the said industry. I could name a couple that has truly established their names. There’s fine art lamps which was founded by Jack Blumberg, they have been in the industry for quite awhile and has been delivering artistic lighting fixtures and lamps which are crafted to the finest of its quality since 1941. They stand true to their brand name by providing only the best quality and design. Another would be house of troy lighting which is a pride of Vermont, showcasing the superb hand-craftsmanship of the Vermont’s skilled workers. Each piece is carefully designed and hand crafted with scrutiny to achieve only the highest quality standards. Just in case you are working on any project or planning to redesign any building, you might want to consider checking them out first.
