Are you so caught up with things that you hardly get to notice the little things around you? Smell the flowers, feel the dirt on your feet, the heat of the sunlight or the gentle wind blowing against your skin? Or appreciate the raindrops that you once hated for being a hassle when you were in a hurry to go home or while you’re on you’re way to an important appointment?
Many people get stuck doing what they think they should to make things better, or some get too lazy to go out, and other don’t find any sense in doing it. Some keeps on going out everyday, but never notice the things around them, simply because they don’t feel like living at all, or everything has lost its meaning. But have you been really happy, or you thought you were and your life became so dull and fast forward, without noticing it?
Lately, I feel like it’s the first time that I get to really notice things and so many changes around me. I did not even notice that my Uncle is now into electronic cigarettes until recently, when I offered to buy him his old favorite and he refused. He said he’s been trying to eliminate the habit, good for him. My little sister has grown a lot too, and I did not even notice it the last time I saw her, I only thought her hair was longer.
I’ve realized that I’ve been detached to this world for such a long time. Always in a rush when going out, going directly to my target place, or getting the items as immediate as possible as if a criminal who can’t stay in one place for a long time, or a character in a game that is timed to do something, or else it’s game over?
I’ve been really lazy for the past months, but for the first time, I feel like being lazy was just an excuse to kill time. Time that I had in my hands but couldn’t utilize the way I wanted to. Although I am depressed right now and feel that I have lost the biggest part of me, I try to focus on the smallest things and changes around me now, good or bad. After all, it’s all that I’ve got left.
It was all my fault really… I did not lose myself in the process this time, but I got us isolated in a world of our own, that made everything unnatural. It’s all my fault why things did not work the way I wanted to, and it’s too late, coz there’s no way the lost time is coming back.
