Hey Aidan, I’ve been bottling up all my emotions inside. Even my best friend doesn’t know what’s going on, but I guess it’s way too obvious for Oz not to know or notice at least. Oz is always the first to know even when I don’t say a single word. I have been depriving you to function how you really should so right now I’m here to tell you about how I feel. But, I just want to warn you that this is probably the point where things will change. You would probably start feeling pain, but Aidan, I want you to understand that the pain I feel right now is next to glorious pain. Yes, I am ripped and torn inside, but it was beautifully done. I know that’s a strange thing to say but it’s true. I was ripped and torn with so much love, and though it’s like that, I feel that I am not broken at all. I was wrong when I said I felt that way. Perhaps I could even say I was broken before it all happened and emerged a whole being, wounded, ripped, torn, wrapped in so much pain, but never broken.

I’ve learned so many things in the past few weeks. The greatest of the lessons I’ve learned is how to love unconditionally. Second would be, being true to myself even if sometimes it’d mean causing other people pain, and lastly, to know when to let go and be selfless, even when all you want is to hold on to the most important part of you with your dear life.

I am at my weakest and saddest point right now, yet I am happy at the same time. Sad because I have no choice but to let go of the only person who ever really mattered to me, but happy because I know by doing so, things will fall into the right places. For I have sinned an ultimate sin of loving someone whom I should not, and it’s just a matter of somehow redeeming ourselves from a sin that I know we’d never be forgiven of no matter how long it’d take. But somehow, in letting go, more people would find peace and get hurt less, even if it’d mean endless hurting for me.